Thank you to the brave soul behind this masterpiece. You are loved. You are enough. You are strong. This is the “behind the scenes” of what we tend to hide, and I am sure many can relate. Keep an open mind as you read through sensitive and vulnerable content.
“Honestly, this past month has been so ass for me. I feel so ALONE in the world like I have absolutely nobody to talk to. I’m so confused about life, like does any of this really even matter? Why should any of it matter when everyone just hates me. Everyone is always mad at me for SOMETHING. Everyone has their best friend that they spend all their time with but I have myself and that’s it. I just want to be happy and I know what I want but it seems so unattainable when my mind is so screwed up. I wanna be better and I wanna fix what’s broken but I can’t because i’m so insecure about myself and all the people around me. I know i’m just so annoying and an inconvenience to most people. I feel like nobody really wants me around, and that’s what hurts. I hate being 17. I hate being in a relationship and I hate being single. I hate being alone. I hate feeling ugly at all hours of the day. I hate being afraid that my smile looks weird or my eyes are drifting apart again. I hate wondering what my body looks like to other people when I can’t see it. I hate my forehead. I hate my ankles and how skinny they are because I can’t wear anything that shows them otherwise i’ll feel insecure the whole time. I hate that I can’t see shit with or without contacts. I hate that I have no motivation to do anything. I hate that food makes me nauseous. I hate that my lips are small and that my nose is shaped weird. I hate my piercing but everyone tells me I look weird without it. I hate the way I dress but I don’t know how to dress any other way. I hate that I can’t be alone for a long period of time because i’ll become suicidal. I hate being suicidal. I hate the scars on my wrists and legs. I hate that nobody cares that i’m struggling. I hate that nobody knows but i’m too afraid to say anything. I hate that people make fun of me and that I feel like the outcast in every setting. I hate that my sisters are thousands of miles away. I hate that I haven’t seen my dad in over a year. I hate that I have nobody to bother when i’m tired of being alone. I hate that i can’t do ANYTHING right. I hate my voice. I hate that I can’t sing anymore. I hate that I don’t have money or energy to work. I hate my skin. I hate the color of my hair. I hate that I can’t be what people want. I hate my hands. I hate that I have to shave every single day to feel comfortable in my own skin. I hate my clown feet. I hate that I make everyone hate me. I hate that i’m alive right now, and I hate that I still have to wake up tomorrow and do it again.” -Anonymous
Dear brave soul, thank you for being honest with yourself. Your feelings are validated. I hope one day you can realize just how beautiful you are. Flesh is just skin, but your spirit is a legacy. Don’t let society trick you into thinking that your appearance will make your mark on this world. It won’t. It is your heart that holds the value. Keep your head up and dig deep enough until you believe that you are more than what you make yourself out to be. Your flaws are not flaws. They are original characteristics that have been altered by ones intention to desperately find a flaw. Instead of looking at yourself in the mirror to point out what is wrong, encourage your reflection to reciprocate encouragement and self love. People will be people, now it’s time for you to be you. Uniquely crafted and created exactly as you are supposed to be. Strength and optimism are the greatest attributes when it comes to walking through life independently. Society will do everything in its power to get you to dwell on an insecurity that you never even acknowledged. Be powerful and know your worth. Learn to love your insecurities, and keep those around who can love them for you.
If there is anything that needs to be taken away from this:
- Make time for the ones you love. They may need you more than Netflix does.
- Watch what you’re saying to others, you never know how it is affecting them.
- Don’t be afraid to offer help to others, even if you don’t know them. The slightest gesture can make all the difference.
- Be the light in this world, you may be the only source of hope for people who feel as if they have lost it all.